Lifestyle Perspective

Woulda, coulda, shoulda ...

A Case of the Pregnant Pause

A more mature solution September 12, 2021

There are always those situations that we wish we had handled differently.  

I am talking about a bad draw of interaction, a time in which you might have been put into an uncomfortable spot—not because of you, but more because of the mood of someone else. (eyebrow raise)

I always feel that I need to immediately come back with a response when I am spoken to. I think most of us do, human nature. 

As I have gotten older, I have been more deliberate about stating that I am processing something and will get back to someone about it, in a bit.

But, that is usually reserved for an opinion or a strategy. A response to a conversation that a person in my life would like my opinion on for instance.

However, I have not gotten good at responding to being put on the spot by a person that may not be in “Kate” camp.

You know, that one person in your life who always seems to be looking for a tangle with you or deliberately wants to put you in a bad spot, just because of their own issues??

Well, I have one of those in my life and over the past few weeks, I have been mulling over a situation in which I wish I had handled differently.

If I had a “do over”, I would have given it up to the pregnant pause.

Pregnant pause. Such a great way to handle a situation when something is said that is not right creates a bad feeling or is meant to be less than above board towards another person.

I give the nod to my friend Dan, who always uses it appropriately. He coaches me to use it as well if I can remember.

The pregnant pause is that space filled with silence when most of us would say something just to fill the quiet. A nervous reaction.  

How much better it might be if you didn’t say anything at all?

Wouldn’t it make the person on the other end feel awkward instead of you? A fitting way to feel if one says something inappropriate, derogatory, or instigative?

Yes, I believe so. I don’t want to own unsolicited awkwardness anymore. Instead, I want to remind the speaker, in an above-board sort of way, that they should reconsider what just came out of their mouth, and possibly retract it or redo it.

Pregnant pause. I need to remember to use it. I certainly have it as an option in my Arsenault.   

It’s time to help others recognize their own inappropriateness and lead them to make a change.  

I think that this tactic might be the way to go..  🙂

Happy Monday!  Remember, you have a pregnant pause too!

With Love,